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days of seventeen by ~soosiep:iconsoosiep:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open




"Notice how everyone around here is seventeen?"

You're not seventeen
when you're 18.

It's rather bitter and complicated
but the change occurs,
in all reality, in time and space and matter,
in the flick of a switch.

Sometimes there's even no candles.
Why celebrate something dying?

You're old enough to know better
and too pale to bask in the sun's rays.
Winter personified.
In the dark of the night,
under the guise of companionship.

The messiest writing I ever saw
produced the best clarity
and Writer's Block
became a thing of the dead past.

Living up to the expectation
single life would bring
but I'm not allowed.
And I only want to love you
so that I'm not alone.

Still wearing the frown
found on the businesscard
that bore his name.
©2005-2009 ~soosiep
:iconsoosiep:

Author's Comments

far away from here

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconstu2912:
~Stu2912 Jul 22, 2005, 1:31:21 AM
Beautifully intriguing. Love the descriptions, and the language you use!

18s nothing special, the art of getting served in the bars around the country underage are gone and everything is taken for granted. :(
:iconsoosiep:
~soosiep Jul 22, 2005, 5:14:10 PM
I've noticed. But in my case I've always been served and it's nothing new except this heightened sense of wondering. I've started this new book which is exactly what I needed, I got it for my 18th birthday. I think it's by a guy called Gaarder? He's a philosopher I gather.

--
"Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing."
:iconambrmerlinus:
~AmbrMerlinus Jul 26, 2005, 3:39:16 PM
This is really thoughtful. (By which I mean "full of thought", not "Aww, how sweet!" Although both apply.) I've always felt kind of this way about aging; well, I'm older, and it's not all it's cracked up to be, so can I go back now? It's interesting how throughout the entire poem there are these constant comparisons between the younger and older parts of your self. That couplet in the middle really sticks out at me: "Sometimes there's even no candles./Why celebrate something dying?" It's very sad but very poetic indeed. The only fault I can find with this poem is that it's hard to tell what it's about, what point you're trying to make, but that is attributable to my lack of experience and skill when it comes to understanding poetry.

--
Jareth.
[link] Pirate vs. Ninja POLL! :ahoy: Avast, ye scurvy cur!
:iconsoosiep:
~soosiep Jul 26, 2005, 6:32:12 PM
I think it's obligatory for me to not write a poem that states blatantly its purpose. If I were to write something of that accord I'd be rather upset, it wouldn't be me. Glad that you've noticed this straight away, as opposed to 6 months down the track when you come to the realisation and hate me for it. Thankyou for your kind comments, and I very much appreciate getting a point of view that I seldom get. = From someone who I don't often speak to.

Thanks,
SP

--
"Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing."
:iconfrankienexus:
~frankienexus Jul 30, 2005, 9:46:29 PM
mmmm
you have a cruel calm cool way of pushing your thoughts out to us
fragile wrapped up in iron
reflective

--
I love your comments and your textures
:iconsoosiep:
~soosiep Jul 30, 2005, 10:37:56 PM
:(

--
"Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing."
:iconfrankienexus:
~frankienexus Jul 30, 2005, 11:10:07 PM
girl why sad face
i said nice things

--
I love your comments and your textures
:iconsoosiep:
~soosiep Jul 31, 2005, 2:22:28 AM
I justsort of... pulled myself away from someone.

--
"Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing."
:iconfrankienexus:
~frankienexus Aug 12, 2005, 12:40:08 AM
hugs u tight

--
I love your comments and your textures
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July 20, 2005
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Jan 2, 2003, 1:31:56 PM

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